Journeying with God

'Nuff Said

2009-08-02T12:35:00.000-07:00

Too Good To Be True

2009-07-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

"In your surrender as You lay down your life. You took up a sinners cross and Your life rescued mine. Lord of the heavens King of all days without you my world slips away, consumed by your mercy redeemed by your grace now I live for you.
I'm found in the arms of love For Your love it has saved my soul. I'll run to Your arms of love Your loves gonna lead me home"...

This song has been playing on my ipod for a few weeks. It's from the Hillsong United new album (Tear down the walls) it's called "King of all days". Every time I hear the lyrics to this song I tear up and I feel tight deep inside. I begin to swallow. I have an overwhelming sense that it's too good to be true. There's no way He loved me so much, loves me so much. I know me, I know my tendencies and my frailty, yet He chose to die for me, he has chosen to love me. Talk about the only one who actually doesn't need to be lied to because he sees it all. He sees all I am. And still he believes in me and trusts me.

I am reminded of a beautiful story in the bible invloving Jesus and a woman caught cheating on her husband (John 8). The spiritual leaders and pastors of the day brought this woman to Jesus and told him what she had done and that Moses' law required such one to be stoned to death. Then they asked Jesus what he thought about it hoping to catch him in his own words. But Jesus did it again he bent down and wrote in the dirt afterward he straightened up and said these well known words "he who has know sin cast the first stone". The story concludes with every person hoping to see this woman stoned to death abandon their stone and leaving Jesus with the woman alone. He told the woman in so many words "if none of these condemn you, then I don't condemn you either". From this woman's point of view there is no tomorrow... she is dead.

Too good to be true? You bet!! I was that woman, and frankly I am that woman most days (ignore the picture of me in a skirt). But Jesus Christ God's only son looks at me with those eyes filled with grace and his words of truth and says to you and I "I don't condemn you go and sin no more".

What choosest Thou? Anxiety or Excitement

2009-07-09T20:25:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine once said "anxiety and excitement is generated from the same place in our brain, the difference is how we translate it in the moment". How true is that. I have felt a hint of anxiety lately as Megan and I get ready to head out to L.A. to join YWAM as staff which means we get to ask friends and loved ones to support us financially. To be honest that has the potential to be unnerving.
If I were to put my feelings into words, it'd sound some thing like this "Now that things are changing dramatically and everything's uncertain financially, God's going to use this opportunity to withhold every possible good thing from me".

Let's be real we live in families, communities and a world where unfortunately people look for our vulnerable moments and try to "get" us and sometimes we are the ones out to get people. The tragedy is that we can't help but think God's the same way waiting for a perfect opportunity to "teach" us a lesson. You would think we should know by now that God is not out to trap us in some weird way but the reality is that there is a difference between what we know in our heads about God and what we have become convinced of. So for me I find myself wrestling and wondering if God is going to hear my prayer this time. If He's going to come through yet again? Why would he since I haven't been "ultra spiritual" or "super christian" or whatever word you'll use to describe your "devotion" to God. So I get anxious and get tempted to fix it and yet deep down there's a subtle sense or feeling or God saying "I love you" "I love you period". The problem is it sounds too good to be true. So there you go I am discovering that I am a much loved child period. As simple as this might sound I have made a choice to translate all my anxiety as excitement.

Paul said something like "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.